Ora Carpenter Omerza journal 4 Feb 1979

4 Feb 1979

Today was a very special day for me. A very spiritual day.

I have been troubled for some time about Em. I had a feeling he was loosing his testimony of the Gospel. He has been through so much. Five years ago last month since he had a coronary by-pass operation. He seemed to recover physically quite well but emotionally he didn’t seem to be able to cope. The doctors gave him tranquilizers to keep him calm. For awhile they worked then he began to get a reverse action, we knew he decided not to take any more. It was one of the hardest 3 months of my life. He asked for Priesthood blessings but he didn’t feel he was getting relief. It seemed resentment began to build up within him. We prayed together as we had never prayed before. I felt a calm good spirit about this. I felt a closeness to him that I had never felt before. After about 3 months he began to feel better and was able to do a little work for a man he knew. Then in Dec. he fell and hurt his hip. There were no broken bones but the pain was terrific. Again he asked for a Priesthood blessing but because the pain wasn’t immediately relieved his resentment grew.

A few days prior to this day I awoke very early in the morning. I was pondering the problem. I had hoped that Em would have his name put on the prayer list in the Temple but he didn’t feel it did any good. I have so much faith in the temple prayers. I was feeling very low that morning I felt like I was falling apart. Then the thought came to me, “Why don’t you put your name on the prayer list.” I felt so good about this and then since in two days would be our monthly fast day I decided to call the children and ask if they would fast and pray for their father. I felt so good and contented I went back to sleep for awhile. When I got up for the day I thought of what I had decided but somehow it didn’t seem so right as it had in the early morning but I kept remembering my early morning feeling and finally I called the Temple and entered my name. I felt such a calming influence from this, I knew I needed to call the children about fasting but for some reason I just couldn’t call. Friday went by and Saturday morning. I was almost to give up the idea. Later in the afternoon I was talking to Marlene and forced myself to mention it to her. She thought it was fine and said she would tell Jay. I called Madge, no answer. I called Ted and talked to Nancy. She agreed and said she would tell Ted. Later in the evening Jay called and we discussed it. He said he thought it was a good thing and said he would call Madge. He asked me if they should all come over Sunday evening and I said ‘No’ because I didn’t know if their dad would accept it. Today I had this same feeling of “it doesn’t matter” or “So who cares.” I knew it wasn’t right but that’s the way it was. I went to Sunday School it was a good meeting but when I got home the same feeling came back.

I went to Sacrament meeting. It was a very spiritual meeting. When I got home there were my three beautiful children talking to their Dad. He seemed calm and I was so grateful for them and for their coming. I excused myself and went into the bedroom and dropped to my knees and thanked my Heavenly Father for my wonderful children and for the Priesthood and the answer to my prayers. The children bore their testimonies to their Dad. They told of times when they too felt their prayers weren’t being answered. He in turn bore his testimony to them. He told how he had felt so worthless and unhappy since his operation. They all encouraged him to not give up and he promised he would keep trying. It was such a rewarding evening. I felt so peaceful after they left.