Today, March 1st, was my first Relief Society lesson. I had been quite concerned about it. It has been three years since I gave a lesson and with Em’s illness I hadn’t even mingled with the public much in that time. I had studied and prayed about it considerably. My hearing isn’t too good anymore so I had a few things to worry about. Just as it was time for me to start I felt like the starch had gone out of me but as I stood I felt better and the lesson went fairly well. I felt it could have been better but I did have help. I felt my Heavenly Father blessed me more than I was worthy of. Many people complimented me on it. I felt it was good. This evening a woman called to tell me how she had enjoyed it and it was just what she needed. I was grateful because her phone call was what I needed. It gave me the confidence that I will be able, by the Spirit, to give the lessons. I enjoy giving the Spiritual Living Lessons. My greatest desire at this time is to be able to help the Sisters of the ward. To be able to give them through these lessons something to help them and uplift them.
Many times during Em’s illness I had been so upset the anxiety I felt at times seemed more than I could bear. I prayed so diligently that his
pain could be eased and yet it seemed my prayer went unanswered. Then although he still had pain it seemed my anxiety was eased and one morning I asked why? Why couldn’t his pain be eased and the words came to me, you have peace of mind. I thought about that a lot. I did have peace of mind. He still had the pain but I could cope with the situation much better because I had peace of mind. This has been with me ever since. I still have peace of mind even though I have been through his death. I am very grateful for this. It’s the first time in my life I have been at peace. I would like to be able to help others gain this same feeling. If am prayerful and humble enough I feel I can help through these lessons. We had a very spiritual testimony meeting today. This has been a very spiritual and uplifting day for me.
2 March 1981
When I woke up this morning it was raining. It was a slow gentle rain and we need rain and I was grateful for it but rain can be very depressing to me. I decided to get busy cleaning the house and forget about the rain. It was a good day and I accomplished quite a bit.
3 March 1981
Worked on my house cleaning project and went to the bank. By evening I was tired and went to bed early. Just after I had retired the phone rang and it was a call telling me the Bishop would like to see me the following evening. After accepting the Relief Society position of teaching the Spiritual Living Lesson I wondered what the Bishop wanted.
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